As I sit here in McCarren Park I can’t help but ponder life.
I am struggling with balancing ambition and my incessant need for new experiences with being in the here and now and present in the moment.
For instance today, it is a beautiful day and my plan was to go to yoga, then grocery shopping and then start some new work that a friend has introduced me to. So I walk the 30 minute walk to my new yoga studio (loom in Bushwick – review and yoga journal up soon!) and get there a bit early. For most people I would imagine that this is their ideal. For me being early always can put whatever I am early for in the ‘optional’ box in my head. Especially if the sun is shining and its mid September. Yoga is something I enjoy immensely, and at the moment it is important that I go as much as possible – My back is out of wack from a summer of dancing and adventures.
All this being said, and knowing how important it is long term for me to go, why did I not go? Why did I choose to sit in the sunshine for a few hours instead?
This is a consistent theme of my life and as I am reaching mid 20s (yes Tony, REACHING MID 20S. I am NOT nearly 30) I am trying to figure out where my priorities are at these days. I thought Yoga was a big priority, but it turns out that even that is subject to change depending on the weather?
I think it is because I am British, and when the sun is out in Brighton, UK you would think it is city of The Unemployed! Everyone flocks to the beach and the drinks flow until way past sunset – Mid week!
So anyway, back to how my day has rolled out (It is still only 1.30pm – My NYC Brain is in full effect, clearly). I’m in McCarren Park with the idea that I am going to go and be all Yogi in the Park and concentrate on being in the here and now, and all I have done is thought about things I would like to do in the future or aims I have for my time over here.
This is all very in line with my Piscean profile, I spend a lot of time in my own head idealizing life and pondering how great XYZ would be blah blah. So it is all positive thoughts and ideas and planning etc but how do I achieve any of these things if when it gets to it, the sun is out or my fickle fish self flows on by whatever I had planned.
Am I really doing things I want to do, or are they just things I have convinced myself that I want to do over my 24years?! OR Do I just have no discipline and follow through? OR am I ruled by my own expectations? I think that might be it.
The book I am reading at the moment is called The Power of Now and it’s by Eckhart Tole. I am so trying to practice with the thoughts in this book, and also building on the Tao of Pooh that I listened to as an audiobook sometime last year.
I suppose this is more of a shout out to anyone feeling philosophical at this changeover of season time for any advice.
Any ideas on how to get shit done whilst in keeping with being happy and present just the way everything is in the now?
My first idea would be to get a solid meditation routine in, but what if I do not feel like it one morning? Do I force it because I know it is good for me long-term OR go with my flow of that moment?