Here I go again on my own…(Hollywood)

Having no distractions or phone or Internet or family or friends or dogs or cats etc etc lead to my creative brain waking up and going into overload!

This is why I love to travel, especially alone.

Lyrics, melodies and observations came flooding out of me. Furiously I scribbled about love, music, life and dreams that I had forgotten all about. Most of the scratch was free writing and wouldn’t make a whole load of sense to anyone. What started as lists and aims ended with damning realizations regarding the cloud I had allowed myself to live under. This cloud is what lead me to this point. I felt the only out was to escape on a plane.

I am obsessed with notepads and little books for this very purpose. Once you start writing, releasing the expression of your soul, all of a sudden you know why you have been feeling this or feeling that. You have to find ways to look in the mirror that doesn’t focus on reflecting.

I had to have many words with myself on that plane journey. The chat went from cursing out my knee jerk escapism to comforting my inner child that was, truthfully, just scared of what was on the other side.

The West side.

Hollywood.

Before that though, Harassment by Airport security!

 

‘This is not your home’ – They literally love saying that.

 

Planet Earth is my home and the last time I checked LA was hangin on in there like the rest of us.

Chilled 2014 Playlist

I discovered the joy of youtube playlists this year so I thought Id share the one I probably nurture the most.

I discovered the joy of youtube playlists this year so I thought Id share the one I probably nurture the most.

Tracklisting

1.

Dennis Coffey feat. Mayer Hawthorne – All Your Goodies Are Gone (Shigeto Remix)

2.

Gladys Knight – Grapevine (Mr. Carmack Remix)

3.

Ashtraynutz – City Life (Moods Remix)

4.

Aaliyah – One In A Million (Urban Noize Remix)

5.

The Notorious B.I.G. – One More Chance (Woody Remix) feat. Carlitta Durand

6.

Destiny’s Child – Cater 2 U (Carling Ruse vs. Ruddyp Remix)

7.

Justin Timberlake – My Love (Bear//Face Remix)

8.

Consequence – G.O.O.D. Music (feat. Common & Talib Kweli)

9.

OMN – Tonight

10.

Chris Malinchak – So Into You

11.

Mattison – Predictions (StewRat Bootleg)

12.

Lindsay Lowend and Jonah Baseball – Should Be

13.

Sade – Cherish the Day (Tuned to A-432 hz Universal Resonant Frequency)

14.

Miguel – Sure Thing (Wiskim Remix)

15. n/a

16.

Rihanna – Stay (Marius Hörsturz Edit)

17

Hiatus Kaiyote – Nakamarra ft. Q-Tip

18.

The xx – Reconsider (Jamie xx Remix)

19.

Oscar Isaac – Fare thee well Orignal soundtrack (Inside Llewyn Davis)

20.

Da-P x Tigerblood – Rock U (SevnthWonder Edit)

21.

Sam Smith – Stay With Me

22.

Charles Bradley – Why Is It So Hard (Live on KEXP)

23.

Janelle Monae – Primetime ft. Miguel (Chloe Martini Remix)

24.

Naughty Boy – La La La (Jarreau Vandal Remix) [Free Download]

25.

Chance The Rapper – Wonderful Everyday: Arthur ft. The Social Experiment

26.

Don’t Wait (Remix) – Mapei, Chance The Rapper & The Social Experiment

27.

Cory Henry Plays Gnarles Barkley’s “Crazy” feat. Chantae Cann

28

James Vincent McMorrow – Glacier (Atu Remix)

29.

Raury – Cigarette Song (Snakehips Remix)

30.

Nipsey Hussle – Creep

31.

D’Angelo – Untitled (How Does It Feel)

32.

Aretha Franklin – Tiny Sparrow (LIVE!)

33.

The Two Become One (For Paula)

34.

Soul Square – Trippin’ (feat. Blezz)

35.

Soul Square – Love break (ft. Fazz)

36.

Epidemic “Poisonous Love” (Produced By Esco)

37.

Love Juju #1

38.

Q-Tip – You

❤ xxxxxx

So I got a bit philosophical on Friday and this is what happened…

As I sit here in McCarren Park I can’t help but ponder life.

I am struggling with balancing ambition and my incessant need for new experiences with being in the here and now and present in the moment.

For instance today, it is a beautiful day and my plan was to go to yoga, then grocery shopping and then start some new work that a friend has introduced me to. So I walk the 30 minute walk to my new yoga studio (loom in Bushwick – review and yoga journal up soon!) and get there a bit early. For most people I would imagine that this is their ideal. For me being early always can put whatever I am early for in the ‘optional’ box in my head. Especially if the sun is shining and its mid September. Yoga is something I enjoy immensely, and at the moment it is important that I go as much as possible – My back is out of wack from a summer of dancing and adventures.

All this being said, and knowing how important it is long term for me to go, why did I not go? Why did I choose to sit in the sunshine for a few hours instead?

This is a consistent theme of my life and as I am reaching mid 20s (yes Tony, REACHING MID 20S. I am NOT nearly 30) I am trying to figure out where my priorities are at these days. I thought Yoga was a big priority, but it turns out that even that is subject to change depending on the weather?

I think it is because I am British, and when the sun is out in Brighton, UK you would think it is city of The Unemployed! Everyone flocks to the beach and the drinks flow until way past sunset – Mid week!

So anyway, back to how my day has rolled out (It is still only 1.30pm – My NYC Brain is in full effect, clearly). I’m in McCarren Park with the idea that I am going to go and be all Yogi in the Park and concentrate on being in the here and now, and all I have done is thought about things I would like to do in the future or aims I have for my time over here.

This is all very in line with my Piscean profile, I spend a lot of time in my own head idealizing life and pondering how great XYZ would be blah blah. So it is all positive thoughts and ideas and planning etc but how do I achieve any of these things if when it gets to it, the sun is out or my fickle fish self flows on by whatever I had planned.

Am I really doing things I want to do, or are they just things I have convinced myself that I want to do over my 24years?! OR Do I just have no discipline and follow through? OR am I ruled by my own expectations? I think that might be it.

The book I am reading at the moment is called The Power of Now and it’s by Eckhart Tole. I am so trying to practice with the thoughts in this book, and also building on the Tao of Pooh that I listened to as an audiobook sometime last year.

I suppose this is more of a shout out to anyone feeling philosophical at this changeover of season time for any advice.

Any ideas on how to get shit done whilst in keeping with being happy and present just the way everything is in the now?

My first idea would be to get a solid meditation routine in, but what if I do not feel like it one morning? Do I force it because I know it is good for me long-term OR go with my flow of that moment?

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