Help me Smash the Fear

Hey yo

My stage fright has come back…. My fright to sing at all in front of anyone actually, is back with a vengeance.

Last friday, I was hanging out with my friend and her boyfriend and his mates. She is from Canada, He is from Barbados as are his friends and one of the guy’s girlfriend’s is Greek.

The only reason their nationalities are important is because I was inspired and a tiny bit jealous at how free they all are. I mean free as in confident, & not fucked up, not particularly self conscious and incredibly cool & light to chat with. Some of them are pretty musical and play guitar and sing etc etc…

My friend pulls out the guitar and starts to sing, in fact, SHE asked US if we would mind if she played for us. WHOAH, GO GIRL. She is super flipping cool and it really is true that Canadians are safe as fucccckkk. ANYWAY

She does her thing and is great, she has a great musical ear and her playing was just perfect. Then one of the guys does the same thing! In my mind I was freaking out in case they asked me to sing and I couldn’t even join in when I knew one of the songs, I was frozen stiff scared.

what the helllllll man, what is wrong with me! (don’t answer that)

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Then the greek goddess puts on Solange…. there was no stopping me! I did not care anymore and we were dancing and singing at the top of our voices trying to lure the others to join us but they would not haha… too busy shooting shit in the kitchen to dance around with these 2 pumped up on girl power girls. She then puts on more rnb bangers and all 3 of us girls were singing at the top of our voices and pretending we were a girlband. (although I think we would smash it in a girlband IRL)

If the music is loud, I WILL sing loud but if I think people are actually listening to me…. I freeze and the anxiety that cripples a lot of my daily life comes along with it’s mate ‘stage fright’

I love my british friends, obviously, but the subtle (or not so in some cases) cynicism and  uptightness is pretty damaging to artistic types….the ones who maybe don’t have the gene that is the ‘self big up’ thing. i.e me

I am guilty of it myself! People with guitars at parties back in the day used to grate on my snobbery and would encourage a certain dickishness to come out in my head. Others who felt the same would conjoin together in some sort of dick off circle, judging & sending bad vibes.

In reality, this person (regardless of their skill or playing ability or even in some cases ability to hear that the guitar is OUT OF TUNE) is sharing something in that moment that is pure and unashamed and pretty beautiful actually.

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This all may sound super obvious to you nice people out there, but I have a proper music snob in my head.

Luckily, over the last few years it has started to soften and I now just think people are beautiful and sweet for wanting to share whatever they are feeling at that moment in time whether it is through music or poetry or drawing or art or whatevs.

You wana share with me your weird and wonderful thoughts then please send them over to me!

So in light of all this waffling on

Here is a video i have been sitting on for a while of my first open mic I ever did with original material

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Both of the original pieces in this vid have moved along to different versions so are a bit null in void BUT it doesn’t matter. This is what they were then and hopefully when I get some up to date confidence in me right here right now you can hear where they travelled to!

The most I have laughed at Youtube in a while! TRUSSSST ME

TRUST ME! If you ever listened to Garage or Grime back in the classic days OR STILL DO rinse it like some of us… you gonna love ittt

Some of you may not understand why this is so funny, and if it has to be explained it won’t work.

INSIDE Da RIOT

ENTER THE SHOPPING CENTRE

HOLD TIGHT

Hometown Glory!! Aug 2015 MIZZAY

This is a special post for my very good friend. Soph is extremely talented and her eye is next to none!

I have been lucky enough to call this lady one of my very best friends in the whole world for about 13years now!!

Not only is she an amazing photographer and person in general, she makes stunning documentaries about her travels and shares them with us to see!

Sophie is always positive, supportive and the life of the party.

I cannot believe how lucky I am to have her at the other end of the phone whenever the time is right!

We are from the same town and speak the same language. She is the best

and

Soph –  Thankyou for ALWAYS being there and always being my number one fan!

I hope you know I am yours and look forward to working with you again in the future some time!

Summer Yogi pit stop. UK

After dipping my toes into at the start of the ‘Summer’ with Smile, I picked up sticks for West coast adventures in search of sunshine, knowledge and musical nourishment.

Teaching Yoga to complete beginners ( and family members with various ailments) gave me a lot to think about when preparing the lessons. It was a pleasure getting to know my students; their bodies gave me excellent scope and experience to create interactive sessions. We are always aiming to reconnect our Selves with our natural state of joy and compassion.

(Yoga can help bring to light habitual patterns including self-addressing i.e negative scolding towards oneself  and physical preferences i.e left and right side heavy which can cause poor posture and alignment)

I got the chance to study Kundalini Yoga under Tej in Hollywood…

(‘Nine Treasures Yoga was founded by Tej Kaur Khalsa, a longtime teacher of Kundalini yoga and a student of Yogi Bhajan for over three decades.’ ) 

I found Tej’s classes extremely empowering and invigorating; after feeling like performing 1000s of sun salutations and Vinyasas in the past few years. Kundalini Yoga uses the breath and voice for chanting and opening up the front of the spine and uses small repetitive movements mobilising the arms and back of spine.

I was taken aback by the lack of movement. I am used to from my Astanga and Vinyasa classes, even Hatha and Yin move more and use Asana differently to Kundalini. Kundalini really is an energetic mover as oppose to an oxygen mover. Do not underestimate the movements that are required for these classes though, Chanting and performing some of the repetitive movements for a 3 minute track will cause you to ‘feel the burn’ Sneaky!

I moved to Venice Beach after Hollywood in search of Beach life and Yogi vibes.

I found Yoga Nest and made the most of their amazing intro special and for about 10 days became a part of the family. I learnt the importance of pace and engagement from the beautiful and warm teachers and was lucky enough to take part in a sound bath accompanied vinyasa class. The resonance and vibrations from the singing bowls provided a thickness in the air on top the heat that energised us all through a particularly challenging sequence.

From here I migrated East to get back on board with Daya Yoga studio and to relieve my creative itch by reconnecting with my producers and musicians in Brooklyn.

New York is a place where practising Yoga off the mat is just as ground breaking and uplifting as an asana class.

The Yamas and Niyamas are important ground rules to follow and some of my luck is proof that if you keep the handy 10 in your mind somewhere, as you go about your interactions with New Yorkers, they will recognise the integrity of you.

Everyone goes to the City or stays in the City for a reason and it is easy to forget along the way to living for that reason what the reason for living in The City actually is.

Life! Real-Life experiences that are unmatched by suburban comforts and ‘living comfortably’ without roaches and rats.

Speaking of living comfortably…

…at my last place in Bushwick, BK down in the basement (yes there were Roaches and Mice…) I was lucky enough to share the bottom end of a Duplex with a Yoga practitioner who had been teaching for 20 years! I also had a housemate who was very keen to practise and learn more so I was able to learn and pass on knowledge in our little mini melting pot of Yogis. This helped me keep up my home practise and keep up my teaching hat.

off the mat behind the mic

Living life as a Yogi and trying to live as authentically as possible has definitely had an impact on my body and my creative mind.

Through surrendering and letting go whilst jamming and tracking ideas for songs and melodies I was able to relieve a sticky point in my Jaw. Literally!

No word of a lie…

…after my first session with a new producer, I return home sit on the sofa to chill and all of a sudden my Jaw goes *CLICK* and there I go, left side of my jaw unlocked!

I am a chronic teeth clencher and carry mad tension in my jaw so for it to just relax and let go like that after my shit hot session; something in my mind must of relaxed. My Throat chakra must of had a moment of spinning perfectly!

To this day the left side is still looser and open, but the right side knows where it’s headed now, I’m optimistic. ha.

The point is…

…your physical body and mind and chakras and all of that are all interlinked and tensions that are being held in the mind will no doubt be held somewhere in the body.

Face, Neck, Shoulders, Chest, Diaphragm, Back, Hips, Hamstrings, Feet.. even hands and fingers!

Do you have any questions you’d like to put to me about Yoga?

Obviously Im not going to be able to answer everything but I can answer in relation to my own practise and maybe be able to point you in the direction of the answer you seek,

No question too silly!

Very Important Post!

Now I am not generally a ‘Fashionista’ or any other lame weird name thing for someone who is interested in Fashion, but after reading this article amongst jumping around blogs I have to agree with this ‘Fashionista’ blogger. 

We really are dangerously close to velour tracksuits and burberry, well not ‘we’ per se – I am NOWHERE NEAR a velour tracksuit, I swear, but ‘we’ like the ‘we’ that wears stuff rihanna wears and all that. 

I could not handle any of the unmentionables mentioned in this article coming back around. 

Fashion Is Getting Dangerously Close to the 2000s

Anyway, enough of my panic chatter, I am sure there won’t be anything velour tracksuit looking in H & M anytime soon. (I hope).

Take a read and let me know if you spot any slight twinges of ridiculous phrasing embellished on the arses of trousers anywhere! (Other than Miami, we know about that already…)

 

Being Back in the UK!

So now that I am officially back to my UK life, I will be posting about the goings on of Brighton and how I am keeping myself going until my next trip. My feet get way too itchy in these parts.

I am making the most of the sunsets, my Homies and Brighton in the summer! There really is no better place in the UK to be when it is warm.

Below are some pics from the last 3 weeks of being back, and I have to say I feel extremely lucky to be able to come back to such exciting times.

I am at Love Supreme festival this weekend (YAY- bonus my mum and my sister are coming too – not to mention my BRIT School Soul sister also camping there with her mum), then Shakedown festival, then a soul weekender down in Margate with my dad and brother, and then a lovely family holiday to Menorca!

That should keep me going until I return to Brooklyn in Sept!

I am also working on new music, back at regular yoga practice, and doing well working for eBook Partnership.

2014 rocks…